Essay by Zuhal Faizy
A traditional mandala is a circle, and the entire design is balanced and symmetrical, representing the
universe. Several traditions use mandalas for meditation or to mark a spiritual space. Drawing Mandalas
is a way to heal for me. When my pen is creating circles of beauty, I forget about the pain that is engulfing my soul.
When I look out of my window, I see a beautiful landscape, palm trees, and a lawn of lush green. It makes
me think of the Panjshir Valley in the far northeast of Kabul, near the Hindu Kush Mountain range. The Mandala I am drawing is encircled by clouds of lush green. Different tones of green in the blossoms are flushing my mind from dark thoughts.
I am an Afghan girl born in Kabul, Afghanistan, in 2005. Now I live miles away from my hometown. Likewise, I left behind the bombs and fights and my hopes. I wanted to study to become a doctor, but my
wishes were demised by the Taliban. I went to “Afghan-Turk” high school, which was one of the best
education academies in national wide over all Afghanistan. Studying there was all I ever dreamed of.
When I was in eleventh grade at School in August 2021, the government of Afghanistan fell apart and the
Taliban took power. All the schools and academic centers were closed for girls. The demise of the
republican system had a significant impact on my family’s social life, as well as thousands of other families
seeking freedom and pursuing intellectual pursuits in Afghanistan. Each day brought more challenges for
Afghan women and girls. Due to the restrictions of the Taliban, they could not get out of home easily. As
each day passed, many women were fired from their jobs.
Now, girls in Afghanistan have no right to freedom because of the misogynist orders of the Taliban regime.
In our society, being a woman is considered a crime. I realized that women aren’t crucial in a society under
the Taliban’s rule. Every day, the Taliban make life harder for Afghan girls and build a wall around them
based on their distorted beliefs.
My brother is a journalist, and our lives were threatened by the Taliban, so In November 2021, we left
Afghanistan. It felt surreal to close the door of the home where I had lived for 18 years and go to an
uncertain future.
The petal that my pen puts on the paper is moss green with bright speckles. It shades the clouds of lush
green.
It has been about 15 months since I have been living with my family in Pakistan; Life is difficult for the
Afghan displaced, as we are away from our homeland, friends, relatives, and education. For eight months,
I have been receiving treatment for depression. I don’t want to give up, but I sometimes feel lost in
desperation.
Sitting down with my set of colored roll pens, the petals, and leaves are turning gorgeous, moss green and
lush for my soul.
When the color is decorating the white areas of paper, I trust again that the Taliban’s restrictions on
women and girls will not hinder my enlightened activities and progress. I’m excited to share my tales and
want to inspire other Afghan girls to continue learning and achieving their dreams.
I believe that I am not alone; there are thousands of Afghan girls who are struggling with the same issues. The only option for us is to fight for our future goals. We will do whatever it takes to get education, freedom, and our rights. Our long-held hopes will not be shattered by the Taliban. No matter how hard the Taliban try, they can’t
prevent the development of Afghan women and girls.
My last two years were spent away from the classroom and academic environment. However, as often as
I can, I sit in front of my desktop and follow courses.
My Mandalas flourish like a sign that one day I will become a doctor, maybe even in Afghanistan, in the
country I draw with clouds of lush green.
